Rumblings from the keyboard of Pete Eveleigh,
a web designer and developer based in Gloucester, UK

Death to wasp scum

Posted: October 6th, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Drunken Ranting, General, Humour, Social Comment | | 2 Comments »

I had a minor problem with a wasp infestation during the summer so I went to the local Homebase to get something to deal with it.

No problems there. I forgot all about it to be honest.

Just now though, I received and email from Homebase asking me to review my recent purchases. Curious as to what it was I may have recently bought from Homebase I took a closer look.

They wanted me to review the can of Wasp killer and the tub of Ant powder I’d bought in the summer.

Well, after a prompt from a Tweeter, I obliged.

–
Death to Wasp Scum.

With a can of wasp spray in my left hand and the ant powder in my right, I had a glimpse of what it felt like to be Hitler.

I didn’t like it, but it had to be done.

I approached the wasps at dusk to catch them unawares. Creeping up on their stronghold I let rip with the can of spray, deploying choking death directly into the wasp nest’s entrance. And but few seconds later I heard many tiny, buzzy coughs coming from inside.

Unfortunately they must have had some special suits or had developed a resistance because within 30 seconds I was being pursued by what was probably in excess of 1000 rather annoyed, coughing wasps.

I did a pretty good job keeping ahead of them but eventually I started to flag and they caught up with me. Once I’d endured a couple of hundred stings I found it very hard to keep up the pace and they brought me down.

Not to give up without a fight I chose this moment to deploy the powder – at the very least it might provide a smokescreen so I could effect a getaway. Alas, the wind took the puff of noxious powder straight into my face.

It was shortly after this point that I must have passed out as I woke up a couple of days later in hospital. It’s ok though, I was back home within a week or so and all the wasps were dead. Got them! Great product!

**** 4 stars

The Waspinator.

–

Hope I win the 100,000 Nectar points on offer but I somehow doubt it.

2 Comments on “Death to wasp scum”

  1. 1 Chris Hunt said at 3:34 pm on October 6th, 2010:

    “later I heard many tiny, buzzy coughs”. Quality stuff Mr Eveleigh.

  2. 2 iamkeir said at 5:30 pm on November 3rd, 2010:

    “later I heard many tiny, buzzy coughs” – that really is a magic quote :)

    When I first saw the title, I thought it was about to be an attack on ‘WaSP’ ;)

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